What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why is Jack Smith arguing that presidents should not have full immunities as Trump is requesting?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Did you swallow cum the first time you sucked a penis?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you know what she said mum?

How do you confront your own family for not inviting you or leaving you out of things?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why is there a "double standard" applied to sex between a dog and a human? Why is it that to many who are at least mildly okay with bestiality, a WOMAN having sex with a male dog is fine, but a guy with a female dog is not?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

What’s something you did a lot as a kid that you don’t miss now that you’re an adult?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!